Feeling fat


I wouldn’t say that I am overweight, but I also wouldn’t say that I am skinny. Last spring (around the time I was in the hospital) I started putting on weight. Now, let me just say that this post is not me trying to find excuses for my body image. I can eat better and I can workout more. That’s on me. However, I will not deny the fact that I have a few things that can make my dream body quite difficult to achieve.

First of all, last spring (when I was in the hospital) I started on an antipsychotic only to learn later from my therapist that it is commonly found to cause an increase in appetite and cravings. However, I know that this is very different from person to person, but it’s hard to overlook it considering that I started to gain weight around the same time I started the drug.

Next, I was recently diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which is notorious for weight gain due to high androgen levels and the way it makes it more difficult for the body to use insulin.

And lastly, because I was diagnosed with PCOS I was put on a hormone that I learned can also cause weight gain. This is also different from person to person.

All of the these facts I have learned from my doctors and my therapist. I am also completely aware that all three of these things may not be playing into my body weight, but like I said earlier I can’t overlook them.

Now, to get on with my point and end my pity party, I am just going to assume that I am not alone. I have seen and heard about the statistics on the large number of women with PCOS and all the people on antidepressants and antipsychotics. However, knowing you’re not alone can only help so much. It’s hard being a teenage girl with weight issues! I am on my schools dance team (we have 90 girls!!) and every other year we go on a cruise and this is one of those years. While I absolutely love going to the beach with my friends I am dreading it. DREADING it! Almost everyone on my team is probably under 130 pounds and still manages to complain about their weight. If only I could stand up and announce to everyone that there is a medical reasoning behind my weight, I would feel so much better. BUT I don’t want to play the excuse card because frankly, I can’t blame all my weight issues on my medical problems and medications. And that’s what’s hard to swallow.

Lately, I have been trying to workout at least 3 times a week (in addition to the 2 hours of dance every morning) and eat better. So far, there has been no change, but its only been about a month. But as I always say, patience is a virtue. All I can from this point on is to ignore the petty comments from skinny girls complaining about their weight, eat well, exercise lots, and be patient!


2 thoughts on “Feeling fat

  1. Beach Body Bliss says:

    Keep going, don’t let the scale discourage you! I’m in the same boat, not really all that “fat” …I still have size small shirts and wear size medium bottoms but I’m definitely not fit and not “skinny” that’s for sure! hang in there ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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